Decisions

Let's face it.Most decisions we make that are against our will are often the ones that we don't keep.Say,you decided to change your lifestyle as it is to unhealthy?Or,stop slacking around with a bag of potato chips and start doing something productive.Unless there is an actual goal,or a influential motivation,people tend to just let it slide,you know,because it is not such a big deal.But it hit me,that if we can't even adapt to these little changes that we ourselves decided for the sake of ourselves,it's obvious we definitely won't be able to take in a huge decision,right?And if we're not able to keep that promise,that decision we've made,why bother publicly announcing it?Don't say "it's just something I said",if that's the case,although you never lied to anyone,you've been actually lying to yourself the entire time.

Since I was extremely young,I made a decision myself.What's odd is that,it wasn't just an immature decision, I'm actually still holding on to it.In fact,that decision grew,more hatred,more eager.Truth is,I thought it was just a temper tantrum that I released.It was actually far more than that.Maybe it's,because people never really do change.If you ever did see someone who's completely changed,maybe it's because you been confused with 'change' and their 'true self'.In my opinion,there is always someone out there in life,who you'll keep forever because that person is the one who has brought out the 'real you' or has unlock the lock within you. Sometimes,because of the decisions we make,we end up doing the wrong things.But,what is the true meaning of wrong?Doing something immoral?Or doing something against your will,something the exact opposite of what you truely want to do and lying to yourself in the process.There has always been a question in life that everyone has to answer themselves.Peace or freedom?But more on that some other time.

I have made a decision to do better in life.But,to do that,I really need to toss away a part of myself.Actually it isn't really a 'part' of me,more like something that has been forced on to me.I honestly never once picked this for myself.And if I keep caring about people's sake,people who I,sincerely have no problem with not caring about them at all,I will be sacrificing my own happiness.Why do I need to pity a person who,is very upset with life,because of the choices made BY that person itself.If anything,I shouldn't be to one doing the comforting,I should be the one being comforted.I'm honestly doing my best,trying ever way to make this, 'situation' better.But if this goes on,maybe I am destined to listen to my own decision afterall.For your sake, let's hope it doesn't happen.Seriously.

 

Choosing a career
Getting married
Starting a family
you did all this while you had your head up your ass
you did all this without making a decision
you did all this with pride and lust
you did all this thinking it's just a game
and you never once apologised

Those are several decisions in life
But the big decisions are the only ones that you have to make
It definitely will be the toughest
Because nobody can help you
After all long soul searching
I myself decided to take a big step
I've decided to .. on the ..
Till next time.