Christianity

Before anything else,I'd like to pray for Senior Pastor Dr. Daniel Ho a wonderful and save trip to London and have an amazing time watching Manchester United vs Chelsea.No doubt he is by far the best pastor as well as the most entertaining.

As many have known,I quite recently took up faith.To be more specific,I'd say that I'm trying to find the reason to believe again.Unfortunately,I'm not really a believer yet,well I can always act like one,but hey,no point lying about it.After 4 weeks,that's more or less a month,that I've attended church,here am I,blogging what I know,what I believe and what I hope to have in the future.First of,this is by far,the least hated religion I know.So I'm feeling a little bit guilty as that is part of the reason I took up faith.I especially like the english environment!I've always been biased to english-educated ones,to what I believe,they're mostly the least barbaric and not so narrow-minded ones.The social treatment there,hmm,from what I know,about as friendly as any member from other religion I know.That little church 30 years ago which turned into one of the biggest and finest church ever is called DUMC or Dream Centre.

"DUMC stands for Don't Underestimate My Church"
-quoted by Pastor Chris Kam
pretty funny eh?

Nobody really knows this.But I consider myself one of the most pessimistic person ever.I always hoped for something brigther,something better but deep down I've always known that either the worse or the worst situation will always happen(only applies to minor things).Part of the reason why I'm not afraid of dying.Because if you're prepared for the worst,well then either the worst happens(which I'm already prepared for) or the worse happens(which is a credit for me because I expected the worst and got the second worst).The other reason is because,since a long time ago,I had this feeling in my gut,that told me I wouldn't die until I truely achieve what I want.It's a little similar to believing God will protect me.Maybe it's more like,I knew subconsciously that my story wouldn't end anytime soon.It's just a feeling though,no logical theory.It's odd,I always thought God wanted me to carry my anger around.Then 2011 something happened,a chain of event perhaps?Let me tell you the truth about me.Anyone new who tries entering my life,I'd immediately walk away.Anti-social or whatever you call it?I survived last year because I did exactly that.A carefree idiot without any worrys in the world.No connections,no problems.That is a fact.I've always wondered why people put themselves through that.This year I found out why.All because of that chain of events.I coincedently met that person.For the first time I didn't care about 'walking away'.I thought "heh,whatever".Months passed,I learned about Christ.Before that I was asked to try to forgive,fyi.Then I joined DUMC.Since then,the word 'forgive' hasn't been outta my sight.Everywhere I go I see 'forgive',I hear 'forgive'.I believe everything has a reason,and coincedence ain't the reason all these are happening.Maybe it's a sign.It has to be.You know how they say emotions can blind one's judgement?Anger is an emotion.I've been advicing and telling others about how they're blinded by their emotions when I should've told myself a long time ago.Maybe I should change a little.Or should I say,revert back?Yes,that was me,the smiley-kid-who-thinks-everything-will-be-okay-and-believes-in-happy-endings.That was me before I threw away my heart.I manage to avoid problems and things I dislike.But I forgot how to smile,to cry,to love.People gladly dive into 'problems' because,even if sometimes you get hurt,there will be happy times as well.People are sad because,their loved ones are dead.Or don't smile because the one they love loves someone else.Well,what do you feel if you've nothing to smile for,nothing to cry for,and nobody to love?Yeah,that's me,an empty shell,a ghost of a man.I ask Him everyday for the answer,but deep down I know,it's something everyone has to find out on their own.In a way that is called guidance.It'd be called spoon-fed if He just whispers to me the answers right away.

Currently the best song I heard from church

You know how amazing it is

The intensity of one's soul towards God

The sincerity of their faithfulness

When this song is played 

All hands will rise and you can seriously

Feel the energy

"Why do these people have such faith"

I asked that everytime I'm there

If there's one thing I want

It'd be the naturallity of loving God

I'm trying my best to see

To open my ears and listen

To want to believe in Him

But I really don't know how

That's what you get if you're ignorant for such a long period

This is a gift given to me

I will spend every night praying

I want this cross to contain my soul

I care not about the cost

But the weight of the feelings 

Instilled inside it

"One cannot do anything bigger than praying before prayer"

I can full-heartedly accept this

Because prayer is definitely the earliest stage

Of effort

If we can't even do that

Why bother with something bigger?

I know that You are for me

I know that You are for me

I know that You will never forsake me

In my weaknesses

(Just some lines I like very much)

Like I said,he made me met her to meet him

Somehow makes sense to me

Amen.